I have come up with a plan. I will send you a rough autographed copy of "The Definition of Kevin Gallagher" if you get one of your friends to follow my blog. I stole this promotional propaganda idea from Tao Lin, who is still a jerk and hasn't commented on my blog, even though I know he reads it. Commence laughter.
Sam has posted a new short story. Read it. It'll make you laugh.
Also here is a short thing I just wrote out of boredom. I know a few people have been asking for some more writing on here.
Over a Bag of Chips
In the cafeteria you caught me picking my nose over a bag of chips. I smiled but you shot me a look of disgust as if you've never seen anyone dig for buried treasure. I mouthed, "What" in your direction but you looked away because you didn't want to make eye contact. I sighed and decided that right then and there I had a crush on you.
Next week you found me at the same table, eating another bag of chips. This time I was staring at you, waiting for you to sit down so I could walk over. But then just as I was about to stand up I saw pick your nose then eat the greenish yellow substance stuck to your index finger. You caught me catching you, looked at me and mouthed, "What?" I looked at you some more and kept staring at you. I smiled. I walked over to you and your face became enthralled with excitement. I sat down next to you and said, "You're disgusting." Then I stood up and walked away. Your friends laughed at you. And you felt sad.