Figment - Fall 2014

Coming to a Kindle near you. Fall 2014.

N.C.T.L.J.C.M.J.

N.C.T.L.J.C.M.J.

Sometimes when life moves too quickly I feel like I have no control over what I'm doing. Then one day I come to and look back and hope I didn't make a fool of myself. I left for work one morning last week and left the dryer running. Is that even something I should concern myself with? My father always reminded me not to when we had to dry some clothes right before leaving for a practice or game. My house hasn't burned down yet so I guess I'm making the right life choices. But when it does, Noah Cicero will teach me how to collect the insurance.

After work one night, I felt rather existential about my laundry, so I did as I normally do. I escaped. I caught myself people-watching in excess up on the boardwalk. Witnessing lesser intelligent people attempt to do things like bike against the wind for the first time makes me feel better about myself. In a future life, I'll probably be punished for holding a judgemental outlook on people. It'll just end up being some more observational depressive human behavior that Tao Lin might build a character out of.

I know one day I'm going to wake up to an angry voicemail from someone I pissed off due some inadequate social formality that I've miscommunicated. I'll laugh at the wrong runner or something. I feel it coming. Maybe the autism spectrum is pulsing within me like a rainbow waiting for a good storm to pass. Or perhaps there's too much iron in my blood, throwing off my magnetic energy. Jordan Castro might shrug me off in a grocery store because I'm too metallic.

But it always comes back to my mud room, folding my laundry, thinking about my life and its influence on others in the interconnected universal pulse. Laundry does that to a man. Before you know it, you're on the socks. There’s always one missing, trapped somewhere in another dimension, leaving its soul mate to either die alone or become forced into a bi-racial relationship. I picture Miranda July to be the kind of person to wear bi-racial socks. Arsonists probably wear them to help find some sort of solace in their line of work. Or maybe people burn things down because they lost a sock in the dryer; their dimensions slightly askew because their lives are moving by too fast for them to control it.

Kerouac's Journal

If Kerouac and I lived in the same time period, I have no doubt that we would be total bros.

Here are some of his rare journal entries, prior to On The Road, via The New Yorker.

Universal Ripples

In the universe there lies two complete truths. There is everything and there is nothing. A single thread woven between those lines unites your understanding of yourself. That is limitless. The amount of knowledge your brain is capable of processing is, as we know it, not quantifiable. Exercise your mind. Intelligence is sexy and it is the only way to better yourself as a human being in a diverse, global society. Become what you want of the universe. You are not here very long. Create everything with nothing. Make the universe ripple around you.

A Call to Reprogram Education

I've become increasingly concerned with the future of American intellectualism. Between the constant plowing of dumbed-down corporate advertising and implementation of the Common Core educational standards, there lies little hope for those who are still developing said intellectual processes. Our society and culture needs to see this illuminated. We need to step back and look at the direction we, as a country, as a global humanity, are headed. Stop consuming what the media feeds you. Form your own opinions. Money is not everything.

I urge you to take control of your learning. Realize that learning is not restricted to the classroom. It does not stop after you finish school. Knowledge is gained in every aspect of your life. Question everything and find the answer. Look for counterarguments and rebuttal with confidence. The Internet is your database. Reflect on every solution; there could be a better one.

Most importantly, realize that everything you've ever learned has the potential to be false. You never truly know something until you prove it to yourself.

To all my students who recently found this blog: you are in control of your learning. Do not let these ridiculous state-mandated tests tell you what you should and should not know. If something interests you, read about it. Then read some more about it. Read everything you can on the topic and keep going until you find an additional interest. Life is what you make it. I wish I could help you understand these things in my classroom, but the educational government does not allow time for it (for a reason - they fear a common awareness).

Apply yourself and be confident. You know more than you think you do.