October 28, 2008

Quick 10 Minute Story... No Revisions...

-Begin radio transmission-


You are not the words you write here. You are not the false image you see in the mirror. You are not the guiding light at the end of the tunnel and you are most definitely not the timeline of life behind your footprints. You are not the cold coffee in the dirty mug that sits before you nor are you the crusty frozen french fries you will eventually eat for breakfast. You are not the grades you see on your college transcript. You are not the image your parents think of you. You are not young. You are not happy. You are not eager. You are not the smell of distinct body odor hanging in presence beneath your bed. You are not laughing. You are not smiling. You are not the pride you hold from the number of members of the opposite sex of whom touched your genitalia. You are not you. You are not anything.

You are...


-End radio transmission-

October 26, 2008

Fictional Interview with Fred Durst

Me: So how’s it going?

Fred Durst: It’s good… who are you and why do you have a tape recorder in my face?

Me: Don’t worry I’m legit. Besides the power is out; we’re stuck in this elevator for a while. Just you, me and this black piece of tape that I’m recording you on.

FD: What? Back the fuck off.

Me: Okay so let’s get started. What have you been up to since Limp Bizkit’s break-up?

FD: What the fuck you talking bout kid? Limp Bizkit didn’t break up. Wes left and we held auditions to replace him like four years ago. We have a Greatest Hits album coming out soon.

Me: Really? That’s pretty cool. Didn’t I see you on law and order or something recently?

FD: I was on an episode of House like over a month ago. I was a bartender.

Me: O yeah, I remember. You looked pretty old and fat. You said like two words, right?

FD: What the fu-

Me: Anyway, so how is Limp Bizkit doing now that no one listens to you guys anymore?

FD: Kid, I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you better fuck off or I will make ‘Break Stuff’ about your face.

Me: I remember that song. It was like the highlight of your career as a ‘musician.’

FD: Who the hell are you? Give me that piece of shit.

*rustling*

Me: Good thing you’re weak and suck at everything except looking like a total douche-bag. How do you honestly think people like you?

FD: How old are you? *gasping for air* Why are you still asking me questions?

Me: Because the tape is still recording.


October 16, 2008

Boring Thought Process At Work

One day I plan to be famous. I don't know how it's going to happen or when, but it is going to happen. I will own my own house with multiple bedrooms and have two or three cars. They will be normal cars; not like the tricked out ones you see on cribs or anything. I will have enough money to not have to have a real job. I will have time to write and/or rock out if I so choose. I will play some open league ice hockey at the local rink and everyone will notice me and say, 'hey aren't you that guy' to which I can and will reply, 'yes, I am.' Then I will self release an album of rockin songs because I have enough money. People will buy it and I will give it away for free on the streets if people ask me. It will rock so hard. I will also self publish lots of books because people will want to read them. I will also give those away too. My blog will become so popular that I will have to modify it to take care of the bandwidth properly. Then eventually someone will name something big after me. And before I die I will pass down my legacy to my children, who will also be famous. It will be one long chain of famosity. I just made up a word, that's how famous I am going to be. Shit. I need a good idea.

October 14, 2008

Words

I have been busier in the past two weeks than I have ever been in my entire life. Right now I am surviving off of three hours of sleep and two cans of 16oz. RedBull. My heart feels like it is going to explode.

I read a story by Rick Moody today in this compilation of stories called This I Believe and it made me want to write. So tonight I'm going to do that. I am also going to make music. Because I finally have my guitar AND bass here on campus. I will record stuff and it will be fun.


Aside from my pointless filler information that you don't really care about, I found this poem in my notebook from my Wednesday night class:



Too Much

Aluminum can dented like sheet metal pounded by hammers,
His eyes focus on every scattered angle.
Blankly, unconsciously, hatefully
His head falls between his knees as the carbonated contents of the container
Refuse to remain within him.
And he will spit,
And he will drool,
Thinking only of the spinning ceiling.
Then finally he will black out up against a wall
And uncontrollably piss his jeans.

October 2, 2008

From Ohio to the Edge of the Universe

I will be in Ohio until late night Sunday for a hockey tournament. It's going to be a blast.



Also, I just found out that Joe Meno will be coming to my school this fall and possibly Ben Greenman in the spring.

This is going to be a good year. I can feel it.



As for the experiment... try it if you want, if not... whatever. Or just comment and tell me what you think.