Dessert
It’s like opening a box of chocolate
But instead of chocolate
You find little tiny balls of depression
Wrapped in plastic
So it lasts longer.
Just in case you wanted
To save the depression for later;
An after-dinner treat.
The kind that sticks in your teeth
Until you go to bed
Picking at it with your tongue
Falling asleep
Becoming more depressed.
Then you wake up with a
Depression hangover.
You still feel shitty
And you still want to punch walls
But you’re able to function
And you walk around like a drone
Nodding your head
Either up and down or side to side.
Then you get some coffee
And you look at it
Still depressed, wishing it had poison in it,
But drink it quietly and keeping your secret.
Because that was the worst dessert ever.
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Currently listening to: Incubus
Song: Make Yourself
Album: Make Yourself
Finally, some writing!
ReplyDeleteI only kept reading after the beginning in the hopes that it would get better and you did not disappoint, sir. When it gets to the coffee (maybe cos I know you) I literally see someone staring at a cup of coffee and drinking it secretly. Good job, re-work the beginning to not be so corny maybe?
Thanks, Sam. Yeah I agree with the beginning. But whatever, its not something I plan on submitting somewhere so maybe I'll work on it, maybe I won't. haha
ReplyDeleteHi Glen! I kinda agree with Sam on the revision tip, but I do like what I've read. I especially enjoyed the bit about going to bed and "picking at it with your tongue." That was the most vivid for me.
ReplyDeleteAlso, great song choice. I'm actually listening to the acoustic version as I type this.
Wicked! I like it. I love the imagery and the idea you've got going there. A box of depressive chocolate bites. That could be an ode to life.
ReplyDeleteMullin, Thanks man. Yeah I need to work on it a little bit. Also, the acoustic version is awesome.
ReplyDeleteRayme, Thank you! Yeah, I guess I was trying to hold some sort of angst or something haha