Only Human

Seedless Clementines Forever

2009-11-28T14:09:00.004-05:00

It really makes me smile to get a clementine without any seeds.

There is a new issue of 50 to 1 out today. Check out SEEDLESS CLEMENTINES.

This is for you. You.

How is it possible that people like Bam Margera get book deals? Does he even know how to use the written form of English? Congratulations, Bam. You just made MY book of celebrities to make fun of. You join the ranks of Seth Rogen, Kanye West, Katy Perry, etc. See below.

Only Human: Stories of Individual Weakness

Also, faithful readers of my nonsense rants, please take a moment and check out the trailer to my good friend's new movie, With A Little Help. It premieres December 11th at a small, private viewing but soon to be seen in numerous film festivals. Check it out.

---

Currently listening to: Oasis
Song: Wonderwall
Album: (What's the Story) Morning Glory

Isn't it funny

2009-11-20T15:50:00.003-05:00

how you're entire life can change in the course of only a few days?

I want to crawl inside a hole beneath the ocean's deepest crevice and drown in the darkness where no one will find me.

---

Currently listening to: Citizen Cope
Song: Sideways
Album: The Clarence Greenwood Recordings

You forgot the tides

2009-11-15T13:00:00.003-05:00

From the East coast to the West coast, you have already forgotten the tides. Can you feel it? Or has it taken your breath away?

There is a new issue of 50 to 1 out today! Forgetting the Tides features work by: Carter Jefferson, Thomas Scofield, Noel Sloboda, T. Guzman, Evan Schaeffer, Karyn Eisler, and Eric Bennett. It is awesome. I suggest you check it out because good flash fiction is really worth the read.

Heres a recap of The Broad Set reading in Manasquan, NJ - its a broad update. There are lots of tidbits of news, so if you're interested check it out. Avalanche Tinder 2 is now available. Email me for your free copy.

I feel really uninteresting. I'm sorry. I've been super busy (again). Life gets depressing when you're busy all the time. Plus, it's been raining for the past four days. I hate [love] New Jersey.

---

Currently listening to: Vanna
Song: A Dead Language For A Dying Lady
Album: The Search Party Never Came

Dogs with human parts...

2009-11-08T13:19:00.003-05:00

I can't get that image out of my head. Do you think if dogs had hands they would sneak into the fridge late at night?

New Issue Of 50 to 1! Dogs With Human Parts features work from: Donna Elliott, Juleigh Howard-Hobson, Stacey Dye, Christina Murphy, Daniel Romo, Amber Foster, and Tim Lantz. Definitely a good issue. I suggest you check it out and maybe even consider submitting. Thanks!

Have you seen my article on flash fiction? Its addicting.

The reading on Friday went well. Poetry and prose about marriage, Katy Perry, road graters, winter, etc. It was fun. Avalanche Tinder 2 is now available. Email someone from The Broad Set for your FREE copy.

More rejections... I'll keep trying.

I'm out of things to say. Sorry I haven't been interesting lately... at all. :-/

---

Currently listening to: Slightly Stoopid
Song: Hold On To The One
Album: Chronichitis

In hindsight, it wasn't the best decision...

2009-11-06T10:11:00.006-05:00

This coffee tastes like nut-flavored vomit. Yum Yum!

I wrote an article for a blog called Observations run by Dawn Goldsmith. The article is about flash fiction and how its storming the realm of literature. Read the Flash Fiction Addiction. Tell me what you think?

The Broad Set Writing Collective has a reading tonight! Brewed Addiction in Manasquan, NJ. 7pm. Check out some details. Come listen to words, free copies of AVALANCHE TINDER 2, free books, our famous grab bag, etc! Afterwords we'll have some fun and go to a bar or something.

If you would like a copy of Avalanche Tinder 2 but are unable to make the reading - email myself or Pete Richter over at The Broad Set. Thanks! :-)

---

Currently listening to: Green Day
Song: Basket Case
Album: Dookie

Hello, good to see you!

2009-11-04T18:41:00.005-05:00

This is my 201st post. Horrah!

The Broad Set had a reading this Friday! Details. November 6 @ 7pm - Brewed Addiction, Manasquan, NJ. Come listen to words then we'll all go to a bar or something afterwords! Free copies of AVALANCHE TINDER 2! (if you are unable to make the reading, email one of us and we'll mail you a copy!)

An interview with Shane Jones is in the works, also. Stay tuned for that bag of goodness.

Make sure you check out Paul Mullin's The Dolphin Diary. If you like dolphins read this. If you like quitting your day job read this. If you like lists read this. If you like anything read this. Honestly, for lack of a better term, its downright awesome.

Read the latest issue of 50 to 1 - Take Us Home. The flash fiction addiction.

Only Human is coming along smoothly. If you care. Worked on the manuscript this morning.

I submitted to several magazines today. Let's see if my rejection streak keeps up!

I also raked the leaves out of my yard. And then beat Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. Overall, a very productive day.

Watch this commercial. It is my new favorite.

---

Currently listening to: Nothing
Song: and
Album: Nothing

Please take me home...

2009-11-02T08:56:00.005-05:00

I just want to go home.

New Issue of 50 to 1 is out today! Check it out. 'Take Us Home' features work from: Doug Bond, Mike Shafer, Susan Carleton, Matthew Dexter, Melissa Jones, Ozzie Nogg and Casey L. Clague. It will cause a significant rise in levels of happiness. Read. Enjoy. Write. Live.

The Broad Set Writing Collective has a reading this Friday! November 6, 2009 - 7pm - @ Brewed Addiction in Manasquan, NJ. Details on Facebook and TheBroadSet. There will be copies of the latest print edition, Avalanche Tinder 2, the famous grab bag, and some free books. So come hang out, drink some damn good coffee, and listen to words read aloud. (I still don't know what I'm reading yet. Any suggestions?)

Have you noticed the changes taking place on this super funtastic blog that I like to call home? Good! Well here are the reasons for them. In case you were wondering. Let me know what you think.

PS - Let's go Yankees!

EDIT - ATTENTION EVERYONE. I have very urgent and important news. Do you like dolphins? Do you like reading? Are you curious about something called 'The Dolphin Diary'? I would be. You should be, too. Read one man's journey on his mission to ride a dolphin. Written by Paul Mullin, also featured on The Broad Set, this diary will change your life. Not even kidding.

---

Currently listening to: HORSE the Band
Song: Manateen
Album: The Mechanical Hand

Reasons I Changed My Blog Title (and heading)

2009-10-29T17:21:00.005-04:00

Reasons I changed my blog title (and heading):

'The Only Blog Ever.' sounded pretentious and arrogant and I am anything but.
It is all part of a total blog make-over. Get excited.
'Only Human' is the title of the book I am working on.
I am only human.
My name plastered everywhere seemed pretentious. Again, I am probably the complete opposite.
Life is a revolution.
Blogs are dumb.
I'm wearing sweatpants and moccasins right now.
Because I wanted to and I still think it looks stupid but whatever; I'm too lazy to mess with it anymore.
If you have any thoughts on the matter please comment.

---

Currently listening to: Dr. Acula
Song: Say Cheese and Die Again
Album: Below Me

Catfish Soup

2009-10-27T18:34:00.004-04:00

Time is precious. I have none.

The reading went well! Thank you to all that came out and had some fun with us! There were some very awesome pieces read. Dolphins, pop-ups, Kanye West, Tattoos of cats and more! Wish you were there. Pictures will be posted soon over at The Broad Set.

I've been busy with a constant stream of work. I apologize for the lack of 50 to 1 issue this week. I will make the next one with extra jam-packed with love.

Someone bought my signed copy of 'drive.' That someone is DJ Berndt. Thank you, DJ. I'm glad someone I know won the auction.

That is all for now. Not enough time in the day...

---

Currently listening to: Attack Attack!
Song: Catfish Soup
Album: Someday Came Suddenly

Boats and Hoes (PROMO POST)

2009-10-23T15:19:00.004-04:00

PROMOTIONAL POST

Tonight. October 23rd 2009. Are you in the Philly area? You're in luck!

The Broad Set Writing Collective is hosting a reading at The Random Tea Room. At 6pm, if attending, you will hear the written words of:

Kiley Rummler, Pete Richter, Andrew Kaspereen, Sam 'Milo' Cicero, Maria Gullo, and myself. (Plus special guests)

Details on Facebook.
BookGeek.
FunnelPages.
Maybe more?
Atlantic Refreshment.

Come listen to some stories, poems, words and then drink with the writers afterwords! Free high fives! Free love! LOVE! FREE MAGAZINES - copies of Avalanche Tinder and Lo-Fidelity issue 4. A GIVEAWAY! LOVE!

[The Broad Set] ... HOT DAMN!
- New York Times

Will you be my friend?

Echoes of Rejection

2009-10-20T17:19:00.003-04:00

Rejections from:

Theives Jargon
Foundling Review
PANK

... and counting. haha

SOMETIMES WE EXIST

See The Broad Set read this friday, October 23rd @ The Random Tea Room. 530pm. Come hang out with us. I'll give you a high five. Promise.

---

Currently listening to: Thursday
Song: Ian Curtis
Album: Waiting

Sometimes We Exist

2009-10-18T15:36:00.004-04:00

Half of the time we exist. The other half we only pretend.

New issue of 50 to 1 just released - SOMETIMES WE EXIST. Go read some awesome flash fiction. Contributors include: Morgan Moore, Troy Morash, Anne Whitehouse, Rebecca Jane Taylor, M.E. Ray, Amanda Borenstadt, and Jack Shakely.

This weekend was somewhat eventful. I had a party on Friday, hung out with old friends on Saturday, today, I updated 50 to 1, worked on my new book (Only Human) AND I beat inFamous. Good weekend.

I submitted a story to PANK. Wish me luck!

UPDATE - PANK has rejected me. But I submitted to Venture, Foundling Review and >kill author. So if you would be so kind to continue and wish me luck I would love you forever.

Or maybe you can buy a signed copy of drive. - Very bored and signed all the copies I had left. Put them on eBay. Thought process - 'hey, what the hell!'

---

Currently listening to: Coheed and Cambria
Song: Everything Evil
Album: The Second Stage Turbine Blade

The Broad Set INTERVIEWS Jason Jordan

2009-10-13T21:12:00.003-04:00

Read the most revealing interview of October.

The Broad Set (Pete Richter and I) interview decomP's very own Jason Jordan. Check out everything you ever wanted to know about the bearded wonder right here.

Otherwise, remember to check out the new issue of 50 to 1 - LEARNING TO SMILE - enjoy!

---

Currently listening to: Glassjaw
Song: Cosmopolitan Blood Loss
Album: Worship and Tribute

Learn to Smile

2009-10-12T12:53:00.003-04:00

Nothing will ever make sense. Nothing will ever work out. We will never smile. But we can always try to learn how.

The new issue of 50 to 1 is out today! 'LEARNING TO SMILE' features the work of: Frank Gillougley, Nathalie Boisard-Beudin, Michael Robison, Stacey Dye, Linda Manning, CS DeWildt, and Barry Basden. Enjoy the new issue, I know I did while putting it together! It is awesome. And please, please spread the word about 50 to 1. Post it in your blog, mention it to a co-worker, maybe scribble it on your lunch table. Anything to get all of this awesome literature noticed.

In other news:

1. I have started a collection of short stories called Only Human: Stories of Individual Weakness. I hope it comes together well. I have two stories complete at the moment and I'm working on three now. I haven't decided how many to include, but I guess I'll figure that out later.

2. Friday night I went to Giants Stadium to see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band perform. I'm not a huge die-hard fan like many of the people there, but he did put on an amazing show. He even played 'Jersey Girl' which is very rarely heard live because someone else wrote it. So that was cool.

3. Saturday night I went to the Starland Ballroom to see AFI perform with opening guest Gallows. I've been an AFI fan forever and to finally see them play live was cool. However, I was kind of disappointed they only played maybe four or five old songs. And by old songs I mean prior to Sing the Sorrow (2003). And on top of that, they didn't open with the crowd chant "Through Our Bleeding, We Are One" like they used to do. I was sad I missed that experience. But on the flip side of things, they did have the lead singer, Lou Koller, of Sick Of It All perform a song with them. That was very cool. Overall, I was ecstatic with the outcome of the show.

---

Currently listening to: AFI
Song: File 13
Album: Very Proud of Ya

One Day We Will Be Dirt

2009-10-08T20:28:00.003-04:00

Use the blue Crayon when you color on the inside of my eyelids.
That way the purple and orange pills I swallow at night
will have something to match the putrid color spectrum
on the insides of my stomach lining.
Maybe you can throw in some greens
or yellows.
But don't use red.
Red makes me look ugly.
And I don't want the only thing I see
when I need to escape everything
to be hideous and red.
Or desperate to exist for anyone,
anyone besides me.

---

Currently listening to: Nothing
Song: Will Ever
Album: Make Me Smile

All of us; we're Only Human

2009-10-04T11:54:00.003-04:00

There comes a time in every man's life when something extraordinary happens. We are all full of organs. We are all the same. We are ONLY HUMAN.

There is a new issue of 50 to 1 today. 'Only Human' features work from: Jeanine DeHoney, Christopher Jacobsmeyer, Robert Laughlin, Neal Kemet, D.S. Apfelbaum, Amanda Davis, and P.D. Piliere. Go read it. The work keeps getting better and better. I promise you won't be let down. Also, spread the word about 50 to 1! If it reaches three people because you said something about it, that is significant to the world of flash fiction. You did your part in the literary world.

The Broad Set has new things coming. An interview with Jason Jordan is being finalized as I type this sentence. I think we are also working on trying to maybe get an interview with Shane Jones. And there are a couple of readings coming up. So keep in touch, we'll have some details soon.

I need a story to read at the reading October 23rd. My Seth Rogen story went over well, but I don't want to read the same story twice in a row. As of lately, my life has become one big, quiet ball of nothing. I'm in a routine that I don't like and I haven't had time to myself in weeks. What is wrong with me. I need a remedy.

But I can't wait for WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. It's going to bring back childhood memories and make me feel good at the same time.

---

Currently listening to: Hot Water Music
Song: Remedy
Album: Caution

I am BATTERY POWERED

2009-09-27T15:12:00.003-04:00

So I have had little time to succumb to my internet presence. But I feel as if that is a little healthy. Don't you?

Do you have a flash fiction addiction? Well if so you should head over to 50 to 1. I released the new issue today. The work will leave you asking for more. Entitled 'BATTERY POWERED' the issue features work from: Nina Roselle, CS DeWildt, Justin Grimbol, M. Abran Garza, Rebecca Gaffron, Kat Nove, and Jordan Castro. They won't let you down. So go check them out and leave some good feedback.

And if you haven't yet done so, please go check out The Broad Set's interview with Tao Lin. It's a doosie. We have new interviews, reviews and content on the way so stay tuned. There is also two readings coming up. One in October at The Random Tea Room in Philly, PA. The other is in November at Brewed Addiction Coffee in Manasquan, NJ. Details soon to come.

I worked on my new novel today. I completely started over. Thought you should know because I love you.

---

Currently listening to: Dethklok
Song: Awaken
Album: The Dethalbum

Interview with TAO LIN at THE BROAD SET

2009-09-22T18:42:00.002-04:00

First things first, the reading on Friday, Sept. 18th went tremendously smooth. I read a story about Seth Rogen. And a poem about depressing candy. If you didn't come or couldn't make it, I'm sorry we missed you. The Broad Set did awesome. Everyone's work was received well (most of the stories were very comical) and we all had a flat out good time. Then, of course, we went to Tattooed Mom around the corner and celebrated.

Another reading is scheduled for October 16th at The Random Tea Room in Philadelphia. Just in case you missed September 18th's and wanted to catch up with us. More details to come.

Now to the big news.

Over at The Broad Set Writing Collective, Pete Richter and I have just posted a fresh interview with Tao Lin. We discuss his latest novella, Shoplifting From American Apparel, some inspiration techniques, self-promotion, and shameless depression. Check it out, you won't be disappointed.

---

Currently listening to: Notorious BIG
Song: 1970 Somethin'
Album: Duets - The Final Chapter

Decisions, Decisions...

2009-09-15T17:14:00.003-04:00

Why do I have such trouble choosing something to read for Friday?

So two things to say quickly: 1. If you haven't checked out 50 to 1's latest issue, HEAD UNDER WATER, I suggest you do so now. Its quick and definitely worth the time. 2. The Broad Set WC reads this Friday in Philly at BrickBat Books. Be there, we're giving away free magazines! And free beer!

I don't know what to read, but I'll think of something. At least I hope.

Lastly I want to leave you with this story by Kiley Rummler. Its strong, influential, and flat out inspiring. Leave some feedback for her!

---

Untitled by Kiley Rummler

The sky is that perfect brilliant blue. The kind of blue you imagine oceans surrounding far off islands look like. Clear. Pristine. The sun is an electric burst high up in the sky. Blinding almost. Almost. You're lying down on your favorite towel. As wide as Texas and covered in a green and blue pattern that doesn't make sense unless you concentrate on it. But, you’re eyes closed and you are smiling. In the distance you can hear little kids shrieking while playing tag with the waves. Not the mean kind of waves, but the kind that roll lazily – as if the heat affects them too. For a moment you see it – like visions of gravity – and relax. You aren’t floating or flying. You’re just being. In this instant you know everything – everything – is where it’s supposed to be. The real world of finals, jobs, student loans, falls away. No, not fall, but crumble. Bit by bit, like a soggy cookie that disintegrates in milk. This is the kind of moment that people who take drugs try to achieve. You see it. You feel it. And absolutely everything is okay. And everything matters.

---

Currently listening to: Kings of Leon
Song: Sex On Fire
Album: Only By the Night

50 to 1 - new issue - HEAD UNDER WATER

2009-09-13T12:46:00.004-04:00

This issue is flat out awesome. I simply don't know what other word to use to describe it. Head Under Water features work from: Judith Kelly Quaempts, Jon Harahan, Ryan Harron, J.S. Graustein, Kathleen Ryan, Elizabeth Wylder, and Phoenix Likely. As always, read each piece, leave some positive feedback, fun comments, compliments, etc. Be sure to check out their sites and just remember to enjoy yourself. Your head may be under water, but that doesn't mean you can't have some 50 to 1 fun!

CHECK IT OUT!

Also, mark your calendars for friday.

---

Currently listening to: Horse the Band
Song: Manateen
Album: The Mechanical Hand

TBSWC Reading in Philly

2009-09-10T18:08:00.003-04:00

(Promotional Post)

The Broad Set Writing Collective is set to read in Philadelphia at Brickbat Books. The reading is September 18th (next friday) at 7pm.

Readers include (but are not limited to):

Pete Richter, Sam Cicero, Paul Mullin, Andrew Kaspereen, Brian Long and myself.

So come check out some awesome words being read aloud. There will be free beer, a freshly printed TBSWC zine and drinking games afterwords.

Spread the word and be sure to bring friends who are interested in simply hanging out with some cool people. We all enjoy meeting new faces.

---

Currently listening to: Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Song: Faith in the Knife
Album: The City Sleeps In Flames

Hey

2009-09-02T19:38:00.003-04:00

Remember when life was easy?

---

Currently listening to: The Allman Bros Band
Song: Blue Sky
Album: Eat A Peach

Sad Clouds

2009-08-31T16:47:00.003-04:00

Look at something I did today while at work:

I may make it my top banner, we'll see.

---

Currently listening to: Kings of Leon
Song: Red Morning Light
Album: Youth and Young Manhood

Get Ready You Crazy Fool

2009-08-29T10:52:00.004-04:00

Here is a excerpt from The Definition:

--

I pushed softly off of Chelsea and pulled her to the sidewalk. The car drove by as its operator smiled at us. Once it passed, I grabbed her hand and started walking back to my house, trying to avoid conversation. But before we even made it around the corner she stopped walking and dragged me to a stop.

“Kevin?”

I knew what was coming. “Yeah?”

“I think I love you,” she spoke into my eyes, waiting for a response.

I stood still, staring at her, and spat out the only thing I could quickly think of.

“What ever happened to Brian?”

--

Ready for another Broad Set Writing Collective reading? You're in luck! September 18th, 7pm @ BrickBat Books in Philadelphia, PA. 709 South Fourth Street. Come by, listen to written words read aloud. We are going to have free beer, a fresh magazine and probably go out to drink afterwords.

I made a mixtape a few minutes ago. If I could figure out how to put it online, I would share. Making mixtapes is a talent of mine. I'm proud of it. Haha

I recorded a jam session with my friend. It's bad. Listen to our whacky antics.

But I also started a serious audio project. So we'll see where that takes me.

Tropical Storm Danny is currently covering the entire state of New Jersey. Good writing weather.

And lastly, check out PANK magazine's new issue. It's a doosie. Don't forget to check out the SKIVE issue too, our friend Pete is in it.

O I ALMOST FORGOT -- CHECK OUT 50 to 1. [Finally] An update featuring work by Valerie O’Shea, Donora Hilliard, Alexander B. Joy, Adam Callaway, Trent Walters, Louise Norlie, and Clive Martyn.

---

Currently listening to: Sublime
Song: Get Ready
Album: Sublime

Travis Barker Writes A Novel... one day.

2009-08-26T12:41:00.003-04:00

Good news, everyone!

I started a novel. That's right. Me. I started writing a novel. Here is an excerpt:

"The thought had struck my mind while doing coke off the top of a urinal backstage. We were up next. I could hear the crowd chanting our name as the sound guys finished setting up our gear."

I don't know what to think. I'll probably toss it aside after getting bored with it. It's whatever. Hopefully it comes out cool.

I also have an idea that will most likely get me rich. I just need to stop being lazy and actually follow through with it. I need some assistance, so I will take applications as of now. haha

Read a dumb story and a dumber poem.

Should I try to find some leftover tickets to the Blink 182/Weezer show tonight? I mean, Blink was one of the first bands I've listened to as a little kid. They hold that special.... haha I couldn't finish the rest of that sentence seriously. But I wouldn't mind seeing them. I really like Travis Barker. He's nasty at drums.

---

Currently listening to: Viktor Vaughn
Song: Popsnot
Album: Vaudeville Villian