Fred Durst: It’s good… who are you and why do you have a tape recorder in my face?
Me: Don’t worry I’m legit. Besides the power is out; we’re stuck in this elevator for a while. Just you, me and this black piece of tape that I’m recording you on.
FD: What? Back the fuck off.
Me: Okay so let’s get started. What have you been up to since Limp Bizkit’s break-up?
FD: What the fuck you talking bout kid? Limp Bizkit didn’t break up. Wes left and we held auditions to replace him like four years ago. We have a Greatest Hits album coming out soon.
Me: Really? That’s pretty cool. Didn’t I see you on law and order or something recently?
FD: I was on an episode of House like over a month ago. I was a bartender.
Me: O yeah, I remember. You looked pretty old and fat. You said like two words, right?
FD: What the fu-
Me: Anyway, so how is Limp Bizkit doing now that no one listens to you guys anymore?
FD: Kid, I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you better fuck off or I will make ‘Break Stuff’ about your face.
Me: I remember that song. It was like the highlight of your career as a ‘musician.’
FD: Who the hell are you? Give me that piece of shit.
*rustling*
Me: Good thing you’re weak and suck at everything except looking like a total douche-bag. How do you honestly think people like you?
FD: How old are you? *gasping for air* Why are you still asking me questions?
Me: Because the tape is still recording.
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